Let's go down the waterfall! Piranha are unremarkable enemies with ten HP.

Rizopas is a buffed up piranha with 75 times the HP. That still isn't very impressive, since the last boss you fought had 1900 HP and status ailments to throw at you. He's using El Nino right now. In lower case, el nino means the child, and refers to Jesus when capitalized. Didn't catch that, censors! Why it's a weather system that New Englanders should be used to by now is beyond me. According to Jeremy Lavine, like all things spanish, el nino is dangerous because it kills people and burns down trees and is more than a child, In fact, it isn't really a child at all, it's a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees. According to more reputable sources, El Nino is a water elemental attack.

You get yet another new character. Let's call him Gau.

On the Veldt, we meet monsters that we've fought before. Literally. Most of the monsters you fight, including a few bosses such as Marshall, can be found hanging out here. We also meet Gau. Gau tells you that you scare animals. Go away.

There's a town. In this tow, there's a wounded soldier who is writing to his love but doesn't want to deal with the indignation of having a pen shoved in his mouth and writing with that. Good thing we have Cyan, who loves flowery speech and the word "thou." By doing these favors for him, you get a Tintinnabar, which rings occasionally and heals the wearer. It's remarkably useless. You can also buy some dried meat here.

Which you promptly give to Gau when he's standing there. Don't attack him.

This is one of those scenes that is the reason why I can't hate this story arc, despite the lack of anything multitarget.

Everybody needs to go to the Sabin school of insults. Remember, there's no place like I want to be a witch!

Gau's eyes are lighting up.

There's nothing I can say about this except I had a professor who said y'all a lot when I first played this.

I'm getting to something, but Gau needs to get to it as well.

Gau says "thou" a lot.

As Gau is now a member of your party, it's time for

Advantages: Can cast spells long before everyone else has access to them, for free. And has some other nice rages.

Disadvantages: Can't be controlled. Weaker magic than Terra. Woe to those who use the intangir rage without doing it properly. It's like the Ensanguined Shield. There's a right way to do things and there's an easy way to do things.

Arbitrary Coolness Rating: 9

My friend loves that word. Rubbish. I prefer bollocks and firefucking piece of fox shit.

Shiny shiny shiny shiny shiny shiny!

You could put Yang's head in a shine-o ball-o, I suppose. But Yang isn't in this world unless you subscribe to some convoluted timelines that make Terra a descendant of Rydia. That's insulting for many reasons.

For one, Terra's awesome. Secondly, they're saying they're related because they both have green hair. That's like saying that Locke had his brain mapped out, converted in to digital form, and installed it in Bender because they both like stealing things. Third, there are 2 moons in Final Fantasy IV, although one could be Helliconia's wayward moon or a captured asteroid and one moon in VII, VIII, X, and XII. They're separate. Get over it.

I considered calling some random member of the department Mr. Y'all, but never got around to it.

Locke has his eyes set on a single atom of Jumbonium that they're awarding to Miss Universe.

No, he just likes to steal anything that isn't bolted down and some things that are.

Now that you have Gau, you can have him leap on monsters and ride them around the Veldt in order to learn their powers. Don't attack him when you get them back, though. Get Dark Wind (Break), Trilium (Bio), Areneid (stop), Vaporite (lightning-absorbent and Blaze), OverMind (Elf Fire and poison absorbent), Stray Cat (Catscratch, which multiplies your attack by 4), Marshal (don't worry if you don't encounter him, because he's rare, but he has Wind Slash), Pterodon (fireball), Rhodox (Snare - instakill!), Templar (fire 2), Hazer (Bolt 2), Bomb (fire-absorbent and doesn't explode, just uses blaze), Telstar (harvests Green Berets and has sonic boom). Templar, Trilium, and Hazer have highest priority.

Once you have your rages, and make sure you have them, or else Gau is a big fat suck, go here for the Shiny Thing.

I'd love to do that to someone, even though my name isn't Gau. Also, I need to check to see if he says something else if you name him something else.

I don't care if you lose 500 GP for that, unless you somehow came here with less than 500 GP as Cyan is holding on to it. GP is plentiful. It even grows in rafflesia. Also, g'uh? Is he Amy?

Gau's treasure is a diving helmet. Remarkably, one that fits three characters.

Sometimes, the game will let you kill monsters early. This guy's an anguiform. He looks like an oarfish crossed with a wingaling dragon. They have garrotte (an alternate spelling), meaning a wire used to strangle someone to death and Aqua Rake, which combines wind and water.

Actaneon is currently doing something. He looks like a lump of coral, and he doesn't do much. He's probably using the fight command.

Aspik like to se Giga Volt. Everything here is weak to fire, not lightning as you'd expect from an underwater monster.

You arrive at Nikeah, which could just as easily be populated by chimpanzees or Seeqs. Nikeah has very little going for it, so Sabin makes the best of a situation and introduces the recently widowered Cyan to a prostitute.

Needless to say, Cyan is displeased.

You don't have to do this, but you need to make your trip to Nikeah worthwhile.

I don't remember what he's responding to.

I tried to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.

Once you're done here, get on the ship and head to Narshe.