Hello. Today, we're going to get the second of the two completely optional characters. To do that, we're going to pick a fight with the Zone Eater. Absorbs ice and weak to Pearl and nullifies other magic. Who cares? Most importantly, it uses Engulf to suck someone in.

Surprisingly, we're going to let everyone get eaten up by the Zone Eater. Umaro never got a chance for yummy yummy time, but this guy does. He never got a chance for an arbitrary coolness rating either. How about 2? I don't like Umaro very much, but he does have a use, and being able to breathe ice and throw Mog at enemies is pretty cool, if not the most useful thing in the world. On the other hand, Umaro can not equip items or espers, only relics. At least with Gau, you can sort of tell him what to do. Umaro's like that useless jorb in Final Fantasy V that you never used.

After the Zone Eater, you end up in a cave. Zone Eater, like the thing in Life Force, has an entire dimension inside of him. Or maybe he just crapped you out in a cave. And Relm reminds me of Nibbler right now. Step on that light of judgment to leave the Zone Eater.

What? You didn't expect a battle here? Ok. Covert is a red ninja, which doesn't seem very covert to me. If you were trying to sneak around and spy on people, would you wear bright red and carry a katana? Coverts throw skeans. If Shadow was around to throw things, Covert will throw a shuriken or ninja star. Fight makes them use Disapear on themselves. They're weak to pearl. Use that if they go invisible.

Tap Dancer uses fight and WaistShake to confuse you. If you throw, they throw back. It's either an Enhancer or a Crystal Sword.

Woolly isn't the bear you all thought he would be. He has one of the best rages in the game (immunity to six elements and Ice 3), are rare, and will use Frenzy to make you go berserk and counter with fight. Bo-ring. They'll absorb most elements, except for fire and pearl. Fire is preferred, as fire is their weakness.

Karkass is one of those rotting corpses. Fight is countered with Fight, magic is countered with Bolt 3, Break, or even the dreaded Flare, and everything that isn't fight or magic is countered with Lifeshaver. They'll also use Figaro Tea (huh?) which turns you into an imp (huh?). Weak to Pearl, of course.

The little green push you off the hovering bridges and send you downstairs, where you have to go back up while fighting monsters. They're blocking the way to a Magical Brush, a Genji Armor that's the best armor for Locke, Cyan, Setzer, Edgar, and... Shadow?, although Force Armor has different advantages, there's a Fake Mustache, which is called Dancho's Moustache in Japan and helps you control monsters. Huh? Falling off will get you a red jacket, the mediocre best armor for Sabin, and an ether. It will not get you to the other side.

After that, you come to the Crush-o-Matic room, where getting crushed leads to an instant game over. If you're using save states, save in the sram in the room before or risk saving when about to be crushinated. No monsters, no equipment access. If you don't have the sprint shoes, equip before entering.

Ogor is a Gilgamesh-type thing who uses up to three Zombite attacks every turn. You know what that is. Magic is countered with bio, everything else with fight. They're weak to lightning and pearl.

Wart Puck is covered with polyps and can yawn to make you sleep (must be contagious) and sneeze to boot you out of the battle.

The room with the jumping puzzle is boring and only has a thunder shield.

It's Gogo, the homage to Final Fantasy V for those Japanese players or those people who are new to Final Fantasy and want to play through it in order. You people have my sincerest pity.

Advantages: Can do anything.

Disadvantages: Good at nothing. His magic power is terrible, his vigor is terrible, he's sluggish.

Arbitrary Coolness Rating: 5. He's mediocre, ok? If you didn't get Locke yet, because one advantage he has is being easier to obtain than Locke, you'll use him more than I did.

What to do? Steal. It's based on levels, after all. Throw or Tools work. Rage is OK, even though Gau is better at it. Blitz works. Lore is kind of crappy, and Gogo can't learn Lores on his own. Sketch, Slots, and Dance are all obsolete by now.

Simulacrum's a cool word. By the way, for all intents and purposes, Gogo is considered a male by the game, and hence I will be using the pronoun "him" to describe Gogo. This means he can't equip female-only equipment like the Minerva, and does not break the unwritten rule of only three female playable characters allowed in a game. They don't count if they're only in the party for a brief moment. This means you, Kuku. Wait, it was Kuku? They all look the same to us humans.

Nothing else here, unless you haven't fought a Woolly yet. Otherwise, let's leave. When on the airship and going through the character selection process, you'll notice that you have two less characters than slots on the character select screen. I have no proof of this, but I think that means either two characters were removed from the game or Leo and/or Banon were permanent characters at some point in development. Or maybe it's for aesthetic purposes. Anyway, my hypothesis makes more sense than saying that Terra is a descendant of Rydia, damn it.