In my day, the world was the size of England and we had to walk uphill to school both ways. And there were no chocobos either. And warmechs. Those weren't the pansy versions you kids have today. They were real enemies.

Wait a minute, that's Kefka. What's Kefka doing here? He was in the bathroom, I mean brig!

He flushed himself down the toilet?

The Emperor was the one who imprisoned him. It's a trap!

It was just a way to maneuver the Espers where Kefka wanted them.

Heh heh, fire's cool.

Leo Cristophe has a portrait but you don't get to name him. Even worse, you don't have access to his equipment. He has a crystal sword, which is better than it sounds, a Gold Armor and Gold Helmet an Aegis Shield, which gives him M.Block and is named for Zeus' shield, which is made from the flayed skin of a primordial monster and has Medusa's head fixed into it. It turned the sea monster Cetus to stone, where he was placed in the sky along with Perseus, Pegasus, Andromeda, Cassiopeia, and Cepheus. For relics, he has an Atlas armlet and the prized Offering. Unfortunately, you can't access his equipment screen.

He has shock, which does non-elemental damage to all enemies, and Offering gives him X-Fight. He attacks four times for less damage than fight, but had he been fighting groups of monsters, his attacks would be more useful. Makes me wonder if they meant for Leo to be used more. I suppose you can use him throughout the rest of the game with Game Genie powers or hackery, but being unable to equip when the Gold Armor is paled in comparison to even the Red Jacket is disadvantageous later.

Gestahl himself arrives.

You'll go to sleep, all right. Go to sleep FOREVER. Hey, better than the Goosebumps tagline "Rise and shine. Forever," which is utterly non-threatening and the actual plot reminds me of the movie of A Sound of Thunder, except somehow worse.

If they did it right, uh, I digress.

Gestahl was just a simulacrum created by Kefka. I love that word.

And Kefka isn't?

Gestahl isn't really here, but it seems he planned the whole thing. Leo's dead.

Which means get some phoenix down and drop it on him. Doesn't work. He's all dead, which means there's nothing you can do but thumb through his pockets and search for loose change.

Unfortunately, you can't even do that.

We'll have to steal those Magicite shards.

For my next trick, I shall make you all... disappear.

Remember that line.

You don't control Ifrit. And although the game looks like it's letting you control Kefka, it's not.

Wait a minute, Ifrit? It's another Ifrit? Bioduplication, of course. You don't lose your Ifrit after this scene.

He didn't actually fight them. They were pretty easy to defeat, actually. For some reason, the esper in Narshe was still giving him trouble.

It's power. People want power, even when they know it will destroy their soul. Kefka's the kind of person who would enjoy being able to act like that with no consequences.

She told me that I had the... ohhh, there are kids around. I can't say that here.

Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. I doubt that, somehow.

He's Sabin, the Strongest Man in the World. Not some ordinary bodybuilder who strayed from his gym.

That doesn't sound very threatening. Oh, no, the game might crash and I might lose my save. Who cares? I'm using save states!

Edgar responds with "that's just criminal. Don't even think about it" to himself in the Japanese version.

I'm not even going to touch that.

I hope you have the Atma weapon. Of course, since you came here on a boat, you're not getting it after you defeated Uncle Ulty and before this happened.

The landmass has broken free and is floating up. There are people there?

These are the real statues. Quick, someone get a fig leaf. We can't have nude statues in a video game. Won't someone please think of the children?

The other statues, not a problem.

Kefka happened.

That doesn't sound very Terra-like.

As his name implies, he's hidden.

So, use that thing Gau found. Come on, we've seen clearly that four people can use it at once by compressing themselves into one sprite.

While he's at it, maybe he can fight Zeromus as well. What? He's not in this game? That's no excuse! We're going to the floating continent, but not quite yet. We need to take Relm, Strago, Gau, and perhaps Celes on an adventure. Remember to get the Water Rondo for Mog if you didn't get it already. Zombones give you condemned if you leap on them, ride them around the veldt, and steal their powers, which you can then use to teach Strago. Dischord can be gained from a Chaser or Telstar. L.3 Muddle, L.4 Flare, and L.5 Doom can all be obtained from a trapper. Just make sure you can survive it. If Gau has the intangir rage, use it and Strago will learn Pep Up, which you'll never use. Roulette can be obtained if you sketch a Pipsqueak. Grease Monks use the awesome Step Mine (Steps taken/32 for minutes played/30 MP) when confused. It's ok. Gau can use Step Mine in a rage pretty soon for free. Hell, there's very little that Strago can do that Gau can't. Leap on some Coelecites and Ings. And there are beads in Doma, if you want to be a completionist.