Back at Jidoor, the Opera Impresario is distressed. His name is Dancho, for those of you who aren't aware of this. That means most of you. Locke is forced in to your party. Edgar is here because he's awesome. Gau is tagging along because you can go to the Veldt and get Aspik's rage and Slam Dancer's rage. Slam Dancer has Ice 2. Awesome, huh? Magnitude8 that you get from Hades Gigas is nice as well. Doesn't hit anything floating, but nice. Mind Candy and Gabbldegak are worth getting as well.

Fun Fact: Maria is probably named after Maria Callas.

Fun Fact: Celes might be named after Maria Callas as well, but I doubt it.

Fun Fact: You have magicite. Right now, you have Ramuh, who teaches Bolt, Bolt 2, and Poison. He has a spell called Bolt Fist, which hits all targets for slightly less than a Bolt 2 on all targets. It's useful, but it ceases to be useful very soon. The only real advantages to having it are being able to use it in concurrence with runic, it ignores Reflect, it targets all enemies, even in a pincer. Kirin teaches Cure 2 and Life Guard regen on everyone when you summon it. Siren uses Hope Song to mute all enemies and is actually useful. Horray! Stray uses Cat Rain to muddle all enemies. Just like NoiseBlaster. Except it costs MP. It does teach Imp and Float.

If you really want to, name him Han, but for now, he's Setzer. Setzer Gabbiani. You don't get him yet.

What's important is that he has an airship. He claims it made the Kessel Run in 13 parsecs, but who does he think he's fooling using a term for distance just becase it sounds scientific?

Locke wonders if Gau can perform in the operatic version of The Grumpy Snail. How ironic that he claims that the performance would be ruined.

How ironic that he'd fall for it!

Musicians really rodger Locke's hammerstein.

Yeah? Well, you should try not sucking at it. I'd say don't quit your day job, but you're the one who suggested that Imperial soldiers swim.

Also ironic that Ultros would pretend to be Setzer.

Yes, I'm aware that I'm throwing around the word ironic. Thank you for pointing that out.

Now that was irony.

Nothing here but a really nice screen shot. Now let us cavort like the Greeks of old. You know of what I mean.

That's not ironic, that's just coincidental.

Chocobos in an opera? How delightfully decadent. Not quite as decadent as surgery.

Gau offers his insight. Cyan, had he been here, doesn't have a problem with his arch-nemesis as the soprano.

Had you replaced Celes with a moogle, she'd still have this sprite.

Get your cue cards ready! And why doesn't Celes get to fight Godzilla; that's so what she would do?

Sing along with Celes! Since Celes is played by the synth vox setting on a midi keyboard (synth vox in an opera! Wonderfully decadent!), I'm sure you could do a better job. Since I was too lazy to take all the screenshots and it's pointless anyway, the rest of the opera is here.

Love goes away, like night into day. It's just a fading dream...

Our love is brighter than the sun.
For eternity, for me there can be, only you, my chosen one... Must I forget you? Our solemn promise? Will autumn take the place of spring?
What shall I do? I'm lost without you. Speak to me once more!

To add gameplay and irony to the scene, Celes thinks "... ... LINE!" at some point and you have to hold up the cue cards for her.

If you mess up, the impressario tells you that your music is bad and you should feel bad. Not with those words.

If you mess up four times, the Impressario later snarks Celes in a later opera in which her character sings that she's stupider than you in every way, and you get a game over. Oh yeah, and his mama has better acting ability.

Get the flowers and go to the balcony. Or else.

If you don't, Celes says "Uhnn...not in time...We messed up."

That's the same thing as shouting ... ...LINE in the middle of the opera.

By now, Shadow leaves if you got him for some inane reason. The Impressario tells you he'd have fallen asleep in five minutes.

The first step in my ridiculously circuitous plan is complete! G'fa ha ha!

More chocobos and a swording on stage!

He could sing!

Meanwhile. Fortunately for him, Celes doesn't notice it.

Well, it's four tons. Be glad you didn't get a four kilogram weight expecting it to reduce Celes to a bloody pulp. She's not Rydia, for crap's sake. Of course, expecting anything to reduce Celes to a bloody pulp is rather far-fetched.

Press the wrong switch and this happens. After Edgar bounces on everyone's heads.

Pressing another wrong switch causues this to happen. Don't do it. It's just a waste of time.

Do the right thing. Vermin are yellow and have nothing worth stealing. If all the Sewer Rats (the black ones with green ears) are dead, the Vermin summon another pack of them. Sewer Rats have nothing worth stealing. It's possible to skip the battles here, but hard and pointless and you lose some mediocre at best rages.

This is not part of the performance!

How? You're not even singing!

Wait, wait, wait, this lacks subtlety. You can't just have the characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry.

Prepare for a criminally underused boss theme.

Ultros has 2550 HP, but since he moves around and each posiiton has its own HP, it can take as many as 19197 HP if you mess up badly and have built up bad karma or as few as 2550 HP if you use Aspik. Aspik utterly destroys him. Also delightfully decadent! And ironic.

What he does is say things and use attacks. He says "Long time no see! You've changed! Did ya miss me?" when the battle begins. "Here! Over here!" "I ain't no garden-variety octopus!" "Havin' fun?" "Have ya read it?" "How sweet it is!" "I ain't no garden-variety octopus!" "I ain't ready ta go yet." whenever he feels like it, "Imp! Pal! Buddy!" when he uses imp song to turn you into an imp, and "What an unlucky day! Adios!" when you defeat him. He'll also use Attack. Mega Volt, Drain, L.3 Muddle, Fire, and Tentacle. Once you've defeated him, sigh as the music ends.